A Sign: Phoenix and Sobriety

In March 2020, when Covid-19 exploded, I found myself unemployed. Like many others, I was terrified. I’m accustomed to working on the road - at televised sporting events – for nearly 200 days a year. Suddenly, I was faced with no income stream and being home for a month! (So funny that a month seemed insurmountable back then.) Plus, I was 4 months sober, happily so, but the looming quarantine had me worried. 

When the Harbor Humane Society in Michigan shut down during the pandemic, they sent out a call for fosters. I figured why not. I’ll be home for a few more weeks. (Actually, it turned out to be months, but that's a different story.) I arrived at the shelter and asked the volunteers to show me who needed to get out of there the most.

They led me to a kennel holding the saddest dog I‘ve ever seen. She was a pit bull with eyes that were melancholy. Her ears were infected and bleeding. She had bald spots and sores all over her body. Her little boobs dragged on the ground because she had been used for breeding her whole life. 

From the moment I saw her, I knew that I was NOT fostering her. For one thing, I’ve always been afraid of pit bulls. But even if I could get past her breed, I didn't think I’d be enough for her. She was too broken. I was focused on staying sober and healing myself. I couldn’t heal us both. She deserved more than I could give. 

I listened politely to this sad dog’s story but asked to see different animals. As we walked away, someone said the pit’s name was Phoenix. I stopped, asked them to repeat it. 

Phoenix. 

I had recently moved to Michigan from Arizona, but I still consider Phoenix my real home. As happy as I am with my new life, I miss Arizona. It’s still such a huge part of me. Phoenix’s name was a sign. And I don’t ignore signs. In that instant, I changed my mind and decided to foster Phoenix. I promised her that I’d help her heal. 

The remarkable thing is she healed me too. After a lifetime of an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, I had stopped drinking. And I was making it, but early sobriety is always tenuous. Wine had always been my coping mechanism, but during quarantine that mechanism became caring for this little dog, a dog who never knew love.

Phoenix’s sweet face helped get me through the loneliness of shut down and the fear of unemployment. Her unconditional trust carried me through the uncertainty and isolation of Covid. She was my quarantine companion and gave each day purpose. Phoenix and I supported each other through the toughest times of the pandemic.

I ended up adopting Phoenix, and we’ve been together for a year and a half. Now, she’s a healthy, compact 50 lbs. and embraces living like a princess. She loves relaxing on the couch and long walks. She makes friends with any person or animal she meets. In fact, she’s become a bit of a local celebrity in the neighborhood. 

As the pandemic eases, I’m starting to find consistent work again. Most importantly, I’m still sober. I’m not sure if I could have done it without Phoenix.